Ending the Year

I'm wallowing in self-pity. I know that but I feel like staying in the pit for a while more before climbing out. It's not all that deep anyway, so climbing out isn't that much of a problem. Meanwhile, I'll whine a little, to the chagrin of the few readers but heck, I can either whine here where you can press "alt+F4" or whine to people who are too polite to tell me to shut up.

A schoolmate pointed out that I've been making so many mistakes recently. First was the Goodwill Games. It's a few posts before this. As much as I believe that Bukit Jalil party had been wronged, someone DID point out to me that things would not turn out the way it did if I emailed them instead of calling. Email have records. Phone calls can be denied. Mistake #1 costed our volleyball team their medals. To a few, it was nothing... to only a few. That someone said that I should have had the foresight to predict troubles like that and have a contingency plan.

Second was MAPCU. I could not confirm the players for the teams... for two reasons: first was the clubs' change of committee. However, the first is a challenge, not a legitimate excuse for my failure because I could have put in more effort in locating the new presidents/ captains/players. The second reason was because I find myself struggling in academics... and being selfish, I reasoned that studying was to be given more time than this. Of course, this can be judged as neglecting my duties. That someone rightfully also pointed out that if I could not cope, why the hell did I run for SRC? Ouch.

Third was a Taekwondo bank account. During the meeting, I pointed out alternatives for the financial management of our Taekwondo tournament that would involve about RM20000, a small sum for IMU but quite large to us students. We could either open a bank account with IMU/SRC or ask for a letter from IMU to open a bank account outside. The committee voted for the latter. To explore the alternatives, I approached SRC, who referred me to finance because the event will be around the transition period of SRC folks. Fair. Finance told me to go back to SRC because it is a student event. Being ding-dong-ed back and forth, we composed a letter to request for authorization to open an account in Maybank under 3 people, requiring 2 (out of the 3) signatures to withdraw money. It is standard practice in high school and college.

I happened to be hanging around when I overheard a discussion about our letter. Ever realised that you never heard good stuff when the speaker doesn't know you're there? Officer #1 told Officer #2 that "I don't think they are telling the truth". I thought that after a year working alongside these officers, trying to improve student welfare in IMU, I would have at least gained a bit of trust. Apparently not. The things they discussed about the SRC were not particularly flattering.

I thought that if you put your heart and soul into working for a cause, however obscure and abstract (like student welfare), it would be all right. I now realise how idealistic I was. How naive and foolish I am. The SRC was a passion that I had for no other organization and it was great working in it. It's amazing how a year in office with great learning exposure ends in doubt, blame and negativity. I can only wish that I could redeem myself but it's time to step out for someone more qualified to clean my mess... praying that he would not repeat the mistakes I made.

Dinners

Have you been to those fund raising dinners in association halls? Well, I went to my first.

We arrived about 10 minutes before the dinner was scheduled to start, so we were greeted by a full parking lot. But then again, being what Chu Kin calls park-san (no, not Chinese form of Parkson - something like park-god, a minor deity of an uber minor celestial court geographically located in a room near the gym of IMU Bukit Jalil), we managed to get one that wouldn't hurt my mummy's feet walking with uber uncomfortable female formal footwear to the dining hall.

The hall seemed somewhat mystical when we entered. You know those effects that they put when the VIPs walk in... those smoke machine effects? We had those on for almost every person walking in, except that the smoke had brands like Malboro and Benson&Hedges. Perhaps only Klang folks have the creativity to actually puff away in an air conditioned hall. No flamers please, I am from Klang too.

Then the entire hall seemed filled more with peddlers than with diners. We had teddy bears, lottery tickets, empat ekor results, flashing light keychains... We were never in dire need of creativity to find ways to spend money in there. Of course, if you did not know how to empty your wallet, there were pick-pockets at your service. They don't usually bother to ask, though... resulting in a big hoo-ha at one section of the hall that evening.

As customary for Chinese dinners, karaoke sessions were available for those who did not make it to Malaysian Idol. These idols resembled the Laughing Buddha, especially in the midsection. The PA system guys probably thought that the smoke from the cigarettes and the flashing lights from those keychains reminded them of disco outlets... so yeah, I had to shout into my brother's ear to pass the kicap. The aunties and uncles seemed pretty entertained, though... they stood and shouted, clapped, burped... oh sorry, the last one was probably a side-effect judging from the many empty cans of HARIMAUs and anchors strewn on the floor around them.

It was an eye-opener. At least I can now say that I have attended a fund-raising Chinese dinner... and somehow survived. Oh, there was one good part though... also customary for Chinese dinner... the food was REALLY good.

Goodwill

The following is not going to be pleasant. Please do not read if you have hypersensitivity reactions and have the tendency to nit-pick, conjure nonexistent insults from personal views etc.

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Last week, Chun Peng requested that we make arrangements with our school sister campus sports committee to reschedule the males' volleyball match from the morning to afternoon for the goodwill games (organised by that sister campus), something like a friendly match. Being in the Student Affairs Department, I called person in charge A who immediately agreed and assured us that he will take care of the matter. Chun Peng witnessed it, confirming the fact that I was not hallucinating.

Later, Gordon told me that the girls would like a reschedule too. Like the boys, the girls had hospital posting on Saturday morning and can only make it by mid afternoon. I told him to call person-in-charge A directly and they made arrangements. I later got a message from person-in-charge A saying that they cannot reschedule the females' match. No mention about the boys.

On the competition day, I was told that the volleyball boys' rescheduling was never done... the volleyball captain claimed that no calls or requests were made... that person-in-charge A never received any calls from our side. And they wanted a walkover. The remainder of the team arrived at nine am, half an hour later than the originally scheduled 8.30 match. Still, they refused to play.

A player from IMU BJ team claimed that our counterparts' females team was 30 minutes late as well and why can't WE get a walkover. I told him not to be too petty. I somehow regretted that decision. Later in the evening, the boys were told that they could play the "real" match, as in be in the running for the medals and trophy. They did and they won.

However, during the prize presentation, the MC announced that "I would like to clarify that the official result of the men's volleyball is that it's won by our side. The match you witnessed earlier was only a friendly, since we were given a walkover earlier this morning". We didn't really care for the medals and trophy... but I'm sure there are players who came despite having an exam on Monday hoping to go home with something, at the very least. And I'm just glad that they are sweet enough not to blame me for the entire thing.

How Now Brown Cow

Seven friends wanted to go to a medical school together. They were glad that they did not have to compete with one another. The daunting examination that came with choosing that particular school seemed easier when they remembered that they were working as a team. When thinking about the troubles adapting to a foreign country, they were comforted by the fact that they would be surrounded by familiar faces. They shared dreams, discussed plans... they thought they had it all.

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Then someone said that they would have to compete with one another. Only five seats were available for the seven students and even then, they had to compete with quite a number of students from the junior batch. Doubts replaced dreams. Comfort was displaced by fear.

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The thought that my closest friends in IMU would go to Thomas Jeffersons Medical School with me really comforted me. It was almost too good to be true. I guess it is. Right now, I don't even know whether I would survive the very stiff competition of getting into the Thomas Jeffersons Medical School... but even if I do survive it, my good friends would not be there with me. It just seems as though I lose either way.

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Yes, I am depressed by the thought. Very much so. Despite how much I whine about having to survive the 20 hour plane journey to US next year with Chow bullying me and laughing at the "Sidd is so fat..." jokes, I really was thankful for having them around. My delight at having Cindy in and Yong Wern in the group was so overwhelming that it shocked a few people. Now... we can't all go together. Chow's opting out. Sidd is considering. Cindy's having doubts...

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Nothing much would change my mind about going to US. But the haunting thoughts remain. I'm blogging because I cannot concentrate. Ken suggested that I take time off and do something I usually do when I'm down. But I usually study to take my mind of things... and this is the very first time I have an academic-related problem...

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Friends. Loneliness. Difficult.

It is that time of the year again. SRC Elections time. Quite a few characters are featured this year:

The Gloryhound
This person would stop at nothing to get something on his CV (for convenience's sake, all characters is assumed to be of the XY chromosomal gender). He walks into the SRC room and asks "which position no need to do work one ah?" A truly disgusting character.

The Dark Chocolate
This person is every bit as bitter but lacks the sweet component. He sees the SRC as an opportunity to bash IMU for the things that he feels the school administration owes him because he pays RM48000 annually. This character threatens make the scene quite hostile and ugly. May win the elections due to speaking abilities.

The Superiority Complex
This person feels that it is his supreme duty to run for elections because no one else is better qualified. A very eloquent person, he sure argues whatever he wants really well but his ideas may not best represent the needs of the students. But he feels that he knows what's best for the students who are of too inferior intelligence to decide for themselves. Has an equal chance of winning as Dark Chocolate for similar reasons.

The Candidate
There are quite a number of this type this year (thanks to the decision by the candidates not to have an intra-batch elections). This candidate runs because of passion. He wants to serve in the small ways that SRC can allow. He's quite cheesy in that aspect when you ask about the reasons for his decision to run for SRC. Examples of this type would be Chow, the current vice secretary and founder of imucampus.com and the forum. Hopefully these will be eloquent or popular enough to convince IMU students to vote for them.

I'm looking forward to stepping down... it's been quite a long year of work - most of which cannot be seen. SRC work is like housework... it's not seen until it's not done. It's been quite a lot of fun. No regrets.