Goodbye 2006... it was good.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Resolutions are in order. My resolution for 2006 was not to have any resolutions and so I have a good 1-year track record... but it feels rather empty not to have anything to measure at the end of every month to see if I was on my way to achieving what I set out to do.

Resolutions for 2007 are pretty simple.

#1 Pass USMLE - I would like to score... but knowing my tendencies to pile pressure on myself, I would like to look at passing first.

#2 Manage time better - Once upon a time, I had good schedules and kept to them... but that practice fell to disuse after I didn't have any classes to attend. Time to get back to doing that.

#3 Manage $$ better - Turning 23 next year and I'm still incapable of keeping track of those little pieces of paper in my wallet. What a shame.

#4 Go for morning walks - or jogs whenever I feel like it. It's not about losing weight or the endorphins. I miss waking up early just for the cool air and silence. Besides, hauling oneself unceremoniously from bed every morning would be easier if there is something nice to look forward to.

I'll be spending New Year's Eve at home, since I'm back early from the steamboat dinner... wishing that I can join Kah Heng and co at Van's place in Vista... but strongly doubt that parents would allow me to go out late. I'm semi-grounded

Advice

Someone asked me about IMU as a school and medicine as a course. His daughter is sitting there listening and considering a career in medicine. I've always wondered about the kind of answer they expect.

Medicine is not easy but it's not as tough as many make it out to be. Almost every course requires students to sit down and mug for results. Almost every course requires students to be at least marginally interested to do well. It's no different in medicine. Or is it?

Medicine @ IMU is fun and interesting... The people, the projects, the atmosphere, the fun, the excitement, the sense of belonging, the stress... How can one condense all that into an answer without lecture notes?

"It's good. No regrets yet," I answered and waited to see the direction the conversation would take.

He smiled and told me about his friend's friend's son studying at Imperial College presumably better off than the lot of us at IMU, about how his daughter got 10 A1s and can do just about anything she wants to decorate her definitely-blindingly-bright future but for some reason he cannot fathom his daughter can't get JPA to give her the well-deserved scholarship...

About how people who study medicine do not always end up practising medicine, about how he cannot imagine how anyone in their right mind can sit there in the office seeing one sick person after another and prescribing syrup and panadols for the rest of his life... but since his daughter is so smart, it would be a waste for her to take a less challenging course...

Is that all you see in a doctor? Someone who sits there just giving you syrup and panadols? Nice. Why let your daughter struggle through this "challenging" course just to have that miserable existence? Medicine isn't all that challenging... go do rocket science or something. It's so sad to make your child's future nothing more than a statement of how much of your intelligence is manifested in them, transforming them into a mere declaration of social status.

But I just smiled... and said nothing. And he just went on and on...

Oh how I wish I had guts.

Ultimatum

Delivered.

But at least I'm not exiled to Singapore just so I don't meet him. Exile isn't exactly the word. I was told to take some time off but exile reading political biographies makes the word exile come quicker to mind than other words found in the thesaurus.

I'm stronger than this... but somehow I just feel... torn... tired.

Even working my @$$ off and studying my brains away don't bring this kind of fatigue.

...

I did not expect everything to be smooth sailing... life has its ups and downs, they say. Who would have thought that the biggest challenge would be parental consent? Who would have expected one's mother to be actively disinterested in getting to know someone who means so much?

If it is going to work out, fine and well. If it isn't, I'll be glad for the happiness, however transient it may be. At the end of the emotionally-charged discussion, I felt more confused than ever.

She feels hurt that I have fallen for someone whom I have never mentioned to her before. Maybe it's because she doesn't remember my close friends anyway.

She feels disappointed at my reasons for falling for him. His strength, his gentleness, his patience, intelligence and determination... is more than enough for me. And I ask what are her criteria... she could not provide an answer.

Kai Meng is a former national athlete who made it there (as his training partner says) with little talent but abundant determination. He made it there against the odds, and yes, there were odds. With the recent instability in Taekwondo, he retired from Bukit Jalil to concentrate on coaching, something he does very well. Yes, he probably to go back to school and will do so after his final shot at SEA Games in Thailand next year.

We have discussed. I respect his career choice and have no qualms with what he is and what he is doing. Yes, I can see a future with him. There is a very real chance that he might earn less than I do but we can both live with it. We are not under the impression that love will solve all problems. He isn't all that romantic.

When your mother so strongly disapproves of someone you can actually say you love and asks you to break up immediately, what do you do?

Incidentally, my parents aren't talking to me. Everything that I do are suspicious to them. Thunderclouds replace the once-smiling faces. Greetings do not get response.

I'm upset, lost, lonely and rebellious.

New Addition to the Household

Getting a Shih Tzu soon. Arriving on Tuesday. It's 2-years old and called Milo. Kelvin claims that our new pet is a pondan.

Darn. I was hoping to call it Tzu Tzu. Sue Anne assures me that Shih Tzus are generally mild mannered and well behaved.

*phew*

And there I was vowing that if the dog turns out to be some brat tearing down the house, I'd make it hotdog. I'm generally fond of dogs but I generally prefer larger dogs. I'm noisy enough. Add another noisy creature to the house and I'd get irritated by myself.

*grins*

Did I just equate myself to a dog?

*shrugs*