Mummy, Why?
Why must our relationship be like that? Why can it not be like it was before? Why are you drifting away from the family?
Seriously, my mother, I don't know.
Maybe it's because when I come home and you're watching the TV... and I say hi and you don't, I think you don't want to talk about anything. But you're actually just too tired.
Maybe when I tell you about the prospective universities, you tell me to discuss about it later... I feel that you are too tired to discuss about heavy issues. But you're actually just concerned that I haven't eaten.
Maybe when I gather the courage to ask Pa out for ping pong and he shakes his head, I take it that he has given up on me. But he's actually genuinely too tired to play.
Maybe when I ask for guidance and advice, you give me none, you sigh and tell me to handle it in any way I see fit and when I want to battle my own monsters, you step in too hard.
Maybe we see the drift in relationship and you always ask me WHY HAVE I CHANGED? Could it be how have WE changed?
Or could it be nothing at all? Over the years, taboo issues crop up. Things like I know you don't like practical jokes, so when someone plays one (and even if I'm not involved), I don't tell you. It is a emotional landmine. The mines just increased until there's not many safe spots to thread on anymore. So we talk less and less and the number of common interests dwindles and dies.
In a home when an adult child does not feel at home, coming home for dinner is just that. Coming home and eating dinner. It's an obligation... a little effort against hope that this little gesture is better than no gesture at all.
Seriously, my mother, I don't know.
Maybe it's because when I come home and you're watching the TV... and I say hi and you don't, I think you don't want to talk about anything. But you're actually just too tired.
Maybe when I tell you about the prospective universities, you tell me to discuss about it later... I feel that you are too tired to discuss about heavy issues. But you're actually just concerned that I haven't eaten.
Maybe when I gather the courage to ask Pa out for ping pong and he shakes his head, I take it that he has given up on me. But he's actually genuinely too tired to play.
Maybe when I ask for guidance and advice, you give me none, you sigh and tell me to handle it in any way I see fit and when I want to battle my own monsters, you step in too hard.
Maybe we see the drift in relationship and you always ask me WHY HAVE I CHANGED? Could it be how have WE changed?
Or could it be nothing at all? Over the years, taboo issues crop up. Things like I know you don't like practical jokes, so when someone plays one (and even if I'm not involved), I don't tell you. It is a emotional landmine. The mines just increased until there's not many safe spots to thread on anymore. So we talk less and less and the number of common interests dwindles and dies.
In a home when an adult child does not feel at home, coming home for dinner is just that. Coming home and eating dinner. It's an obligation... a little effort against hope that this little gesture is better than no gesture at all.
posted by eve at 11:18 PM
4 Comments:
omg. this post nearly made me teared. :'(
i'm sure things are not that bad.
talk it out with them. honesty IS the best policy imho.
i think u and ur parents will appreciate each more once u go overseas.
and no, i dont think they have given up on u. although u might not get to go US, other unis are a great opportunity too! Smile, girl.
eV
dun pretend to know everything, but u & ur Mum seem 2 hav so much issues tad u both cant agree on. and u might agree tad THAT might b the factor that strains ur relationship.
dun blame urself for not agreeing w ur mum. we all have our own principles, our own morals. but dun blame ur mum either.. im sure u knoe that she is juz looking out for u, the way all Mothers do.
as daughters, maybe we can only hope that one day, they'll soon understand wad we're feelings and finally, approve the big decisions we make in life.
i admit im not an expert in dis & i apologise if i overstep the boundaries..
but if u're doing things together (things tad invite laughs rather den fights) it might make ur relationship alot better.
nobody said it was easy.
but things that are worth fighting for, were never easily attainable.
have hope.
indeed, why?
You should know what troubles I've been through recently, and I dunno if it will work for you but...
My parents said, that even if I found it difficult to talk to them for whatever reasons, there are always other methods of communication. Email is a very good one.
I know firsthand how difficult it can be to begin to talk to them about our differences, why we do things our way instead of how they perceive it should be done.
Maybe through the use of email, as in my case, I could start by letting them know certain things that make me feel really unhappy about, without letting my emotions get to me, as I have all the time I need to compose myself to write a mail.
I don't know if it had any effect, but I think it's worth a shot, no?
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