Shanghai

This book is just a bit depressing. It tells the story of this well-educated widow who survived the Chinese Cultural Revolution. Imprisoned for 6.5 years (although the prison conditions were nowhere near the worst I've read about), she is released only to find her daughter dead from a highly suspicious "suicide".

I stayed awake half a night to finish this book and the other half tossing and turning in bed because my mind refused to fall asleep... but it does make me thank God over and over again that the Baling Talks did not result in the communists getting a proper foothold in Malaysian political scene.

Quite a number of classmates who went abroad to further their studies refuse to return because they enjoy the lifestyle and opportunities there. A few say that they would return if a few changes are made back home. Well, it can be worse. We certainly can improve... and yes, we should not make sadder nations (or their pasts) yardsticks... but it can definitely be worse.

CNY Math

Humans = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Humans = pigs + work + enjoy
If Human - enjoy = pigs + work

A human who does not enjoy himself is a working pig

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Men = pigs + earn money
If Men - earn money = pigs
Men who don't earn money are pigs

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence Women = pigs + spend
If Women - spend = pigs
Women who don't spend money are pigs

Summary:
Men should earn money for women to spend so that neither becomes pigs

Happy Lunar New Year, everybody!!!

Another one.

Some people feel that I have too much time in my hands this CNY. Hardly get tagged and this is the 2nd tag in a week! Since I owe that person a favour... here goes:

Bold the statements that are true to you. Italise the statements that you WISH are true.Leave the Fibs alone.Then, stab 3 people to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I do not watch tv these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I have tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I have changed mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I curse.
I'm totally smart.
I've broken someone's bones. <--------- haha
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller ID.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I'm shy around members of the opposite sex.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I have tried alcohol before.
I own the South Park movie.
I would die for my best friend.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with girls (insert: and boys) (?!)
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I study for tests most of the time.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
I have jazz in my blood.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I wear a toe ring.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

Not tagging anyone this time. Do comment if you find this tag inaccurate. rotfl

Detached...

"Train bombing in Pakistan," someone announced.

"Bomb some more, bomb some more. The more they bomb the better."

"Bomb la... It doesn't bother me."

---------------------------------------------------

I'm surprised how one can be so detached from the suffering of others. To remain unaffected is one thing... to smile and laugh at it is something else altogether.

They have seen much and that may have contributed to the bitterness. Nothing really surprises them any more. Acts of violence dominate the news these days and we have become more or less desensitized to it, especially when it is so far away.

But when they speak about not EVER forgiving someone for the past... and forming a generalized dislike for a whole group of people just because of a few personal experiences with selected individuals of that group... I start to wonder if they have really seen so much, how come they haven't learnt forgiveness?

Will we all become like that? It worries me.

Wikipedia doesn't have it...

Tried to search for the cool name for fear of loud noises. You know, the cool terminology with -phobia as a suffix. Makes it sound less chicken-y and more clinical.

Sudden loud sounds leave me temporarily disorientated
Sustained loud sounds give me a headache
Yelling makes me flinch
Screaming makes me cringe
I'll go the distance just to avoid volumes above an average laughter

Does that count as -phobia?

Happy Birthday

Someone I know turns 23 today.

Six years ago, you amazed me with your strength and skill. You were a little too aloof to be considered normal back then but you were amazing nevertheless.

Two years ago, you whacked someone whom I cared deeply for... but unlike most people, you apologized and asked if he was all right. And I thought that was rather sweet of you.

I was 2 hours late, you were not angry, but concerned.
You always bring a jacket when we catch a movie
I dropped your car alarm control, you assure me that you can use the spare
You ask permission to go out with your ex
You send me home 50 km away just so I won't have to take the train
You stayed awake before a tournament to help me with the work
You boil water so I won't have to freeze while bathing
YOU CARE

You wake up at 4 am travel to a school for demonstration
You don't mind being an SP in a university that you help Sir coach
You practice footwork in a small room
You train until your tongue touches the floor
You make it despite the odds
YOU ARE DETERMINED

You offer free lessons to a kid who couldn't afford the fees
You stop to comfort the crying kid at the school
You stop to let the old folk cross the busy street
You don't kenakan someone even when he is obviously out to get you.
because you think of his wife and kids at home
YOU HAVE A SOFT HEART

You're the sweetest, nicest, strongest, gentlest person I know. Every now and then I think about of all the things I've done... and I wonder which of those I've done really right... to deserve to be the one you care about.

Happy Birthday, the inspirational hero with a great heart.

This Chinese New Year...

This Chinese New Year, I feel... tired.

Things don't really seem all that interesting any more. It actually appears pointless. Very pointless.

Post Exam Trauma

We were coming back from the exam the other day when a friend went, "Hey, it's full moon today!"

Total silence in the car as her dad and I stared at her.

"What??"

Her father, with great patience, said, "Dear, that's the sun. It's bright orange."

USMLE does weird things to you.

Yi Jie Punya Kerja Hehe

This is thanks to Yi Jie whose site you can visit for more examples of how to work out this tag

Now da game goes like this...

"Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog."

6 weird (and rather embarrassing) things about evelyn:

• i'm afraid of heights. no, no... terrified of heights. have been keeping it under wraps before IMU because of the stronger fear of people seeing me as weak. so i used to go out of my way to climb fences/on chairs/trees, even when my legs were trembling.
  
  
• i actually have stage fright. no, seriously. hey, stop laughing there!! that's why i don't hold pieces of paper when speaking in front of more than 10 people. my legs tremble and i actually picture all of you in the audience as potted plants. so i only can speak confidently about something i feel VERY strongly about or practised for hours in front of a mirror.
  
  
• the number of push ups i can do? half. go down edi cannot come up.
  
  
• i haven't learnt how to say no to kids. the reason why kids stick to me sometimes is not because i'm really good with them. i just usually let them diminish my supply of mentos... SIGNIFICANTLY
  
  
• alcohol and evelyn aren't really good friends. less than half a can of beer makes me zonked out. no, i don't sing then. i sleep. not much fun, so don't try.
  
  
• i love ice cream... okay, wait... that's not weird. but it's a (not-so) subtle
  

now,time for victims....sorry ppl...

1. Sue Anne
   
2. Jee Ken (go find some time for this!)
   
3. Li Shun
4. Zi Yun
5. Kah Heng (if you decide to do it at all... heh)
6. Yuen (been some time since you had those friendster surveys ya?)
   

Finally...

So USMLE is finally over. And I think I failed. No, I really mean it this time.

But for some reason, failing doesn't have the same kind of oppressive effect that it did once upon a time. For some reason, failing just means that I would have to spend more cash to resit, probably do medicine someplace else... not the oh my goodness, it's the end of the world kinda feeling.

In the months after "graduating" from IMU without the square hat, things have changed. A lot.

My parents say that I've gotten more distant from the family. I fell in love. I literally worked day and night without anticipation of pay merely because it's something I enjoy. I met people who are truly inspirational. I met people who would give everything they have for something they believe in. But in spite of all that, I am still the same.

Suddenly, failing USMLE does not seem like the end of the world. Just because I could not focus on the exam day doesn't mean that I am totally useless. It is just another stumbling block. If I make it, then I truly say that it is divine intervention.

And I'm still praying.

But I Have No Money

A young girl comes week after week to the canteen where the training is held, watching, always watching. She was a former member who quit training because her grandfather can no longer afford the training fees. Her father and stepmother live in the city, hundreds of kilometers away, visiting often but have little to offer in terms of financial support.

She pays closer attention than the kids whose parents pay for them to formally train.

The instructor notices her week after week and asks if she'd like to train.

"But I have no money," she protests.

"Ask your grandpa if he'd let you train for free."

She stares at him.

Sometimes it takes very little to make a kid happy. Something like RM20 a month, less than what we spend on food on an average week. And I continue to believe that there are angels among us.