Mummy, Why?
Why must our relationship be like that? Why can it not be like it was before? Why are you drifting away from the family?
Seriously, my mother, I don't know.
Maybe it's because when I come home and you're watching the TV... and I say hi and you don't, I think you don't want to talk about anything. But you're actually just too tired.
Maybe when I tell you about the prospective universities, you tell me to discuss about it later... I feel that you are too tired to discuss about heavy issues. But you're actually just concerned that I haven't eaten.
Maybe when I gather the courage to ask Pa out for ping pong and he shakes his head, I take it that he has given up on me. But he's actually genuinely too tired to play.
Maybe when I ask for guidance and advice, you give me none, you sigh and tell me to handle it in any way I see fit and when I want to battle my own monsters, you step in too hard.
Maybe we see the drift in relationship and you always ask me WHY HAVE I CHANGED? Could it be how have WE changed?
Or could it be nothing at all? Over the years, taboo issues crop up. Things like I know you don't like practical jokes, so when someone plays one (and even if I'm not involved), I don't tell you. It is a emotional landmine. The mines just increased until there's not many safe spots to thread on anymore. So we talk less and less and the number of common interests dwindles and dies.
In a home when an adult child does not feel at home, coming home for dinner is just that. Coming home and eating dinner. It's an obligation... a little effort against hope that this little gesture is better than no gesture at all.
Seriously, my mother, I don't know.
Maybe it's because when I come home and you're watching the TV... and I say hi and you don't, I think you don't want to talk about anything. But you're actually just too tired.
Maybe when I tell you about the prospective universities, you tell me to discuss about it later... I feel that you are too tired to discuss about heavy issues. But you're actually just concerned that I haven't eaten.
Maybe when I gather the courage to ask Pa out for ping pong and he shakes his head, I take it that he has given up on me. But he's actually genuinely too tired to play.
Maybe when I ask for guidance and advice, you give me none, you sigh and tell me to handle it in any way I see fit and when I want to battle my own monsters, you step in too hard.
Maybe we see the drift in relationship and you always ask me WHY HAVE I CHANGED? Could it be how have WE changed?
Or could it be nothing at all? Over the years, taboo issues crop up. Things like I know you don't like practical jokes, so when someone plays one (and even if I'm not involved), I don't tell you. It is a emotional landmine. The mines just increased until there's not many safe spots to thread on anymore. So we talk less and less and the number of common interests dwindles and dies.
In a home when an adult child does not feel at home, coming home for dinner is just that. Coming home and eating dinner. It's an obligation... a little effort against hope that this little gesture is better than no gesture at all.
posted by eve at 11:18 PM
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